FMA at the Beach
by The Fantasy Alchemist
Summary: Edward and friends decide to take a trip to the beach. Expect OOCness and randomness.
1. It begins, whoop whoop

**FMA at the Beach**

It was a beautiful, sunshiney day, the perfect kind of day to, you guessed it, go to the beach. Edward managed to get Al, Roy, Riza, Hughes and his family, Armstrong, and Winry to come with him. The calm before the storm...

"We're goin' to the beach! Whoop!" sang Edward, dancing around, obviously happy that he didn't have to work.

Roy grumbled, being the obsessed workaholic he was.

"Cheer up, sir," Riza said, saluting to her superior. "Because we're goin' to the beach! Whoop!" cried Riza, tearing off her suit, revealing a bikini.

Roy was taken aback and had to pinch his nostrils so blood wouldn't spurt out of them. A blush was upon Roy's face, as drool slightly dripped from the corner of his mouth, ogling Hawkeye.

"That shut him up," Edward said abruptly. "But why should I care? We're goin' to the beach! Whoop!"

Alphonse sweatdropped.

"Come on, Al, we're goin' to the beach! Whoop! Be happy! Like this!" shouted Ed, shaking his booty.

That only caused Al to sweatdrop more. "We're going to the beach, whoop," said Al timidly, not wanting to make himself look like a total doofus, which is what Edward was doing.

Winry came up to the celebrating Edward, and stood in front of him.

"Whatcha doin', Winry, I'm trying to whoop!" said a disappointed Edward.

"Well," said Winry slyly. "Let me whoop with you!" She ripped off her clothes, revealing a bikini similar to Riza's.

Edward was aghast. "Eew! Put your frickin' clothes back on! That's disgusting!" cried the abhorred Ed.

Winry was angry with this response. "Fine, Edward, Alphonse will appreciate a woman like me!" shouted Winry. She walked over to Alphonse.

Alphonse sweatdropped, and said, "Ehhhhh..."

"Ugh! You two are hopeless! I KNOW Mustang will appreciate me!" said Winry, as she trotted to Roy, who obviously liked having two woman whoop around him.

"Daddy's little angel is going to look sooo cute in her new swimming suit, now isn't she?" Hughes asked Elicia, who giggled.

Armstrong watched the antics around him, pink sparkles around his head. "I shall whoop with you!" he cried, as he flexed his massive muscles.

Alphonse sweatdropped once more.

* * *

-At the train station-

"Are we there yet?" Alphonse asked his brother.

Edward remained quiet.

"Are we there yet?" Alphonse asked again.

A vein throbbed on Ed's forehead.

"Are we there yet?" Alphonse asked yet again.

"Would you shut the hell up, Al, we're not even on the friggin' train yet!" yelled Edward.

Hughes covered his daughter's delicate and impressionable young ears.

* * *

-On the train-

The whole little gang was seated in the back of the train, away from awkward stares. Roy was sitting between Riza and Winry, grinning like a giddy schoolgirl. Maes sat with his wife and daughter, ranting on about how kawaii Elicia was going to look in her new (and expensive) swimsuit. Ed sat across from the Hughes family and next to Alphonse. Al seemed to have shut up since Ed's little outburst at the station. Edward was obviously worn out from all the whooping he did earlier, as he leaned against the window and sighed. Armstrong, bless his heart, had to sit across from Roy and the gals. Yet even still, he was anticipating a wonderful day at the beach. Heck, they all were. And that concludes the first chapter of this adventure.

* * *

**A/N**: Review, ne? 


	2. OMG, Ed is liek drowning !

**Chapter Two**

The gang headed out the train orderly, that is, if you consider scrambling and falling on top of each other orderly.

"Let's goooo! I wanna go to the beach!" cried Ed, regaining his happy whoopy-ness.

"Calm down, brother," Al said patiently, trying to stop his hyperactive older brother.

"Make me!" Edward yelled, sprinting towards the beach, which was across from the train station.

"Brother!" cried Alphonse, as he ran as fast as a suit of armor could run.

"Shall we follow him, Master?" Riza asked Roy, clinging to his arm.

"Yes, let's," Roy replied, one arm sliding around Riza's waist, the other around Winry's.

As Roy was speaking with his women, Armstrong had already started following the Elric brothers. Roy and the girls went after them also.

"Daddy! Let's go follow brother Edward and brother Alphonse!" Elicia said sweetly to her father, who was busily showing off his daughter to random passerbys. Gracia had to pull him away and the family also followed after everyone else.

-At the beach-

"I'M GONNA SWIM!" cried Ed, running to the water.

"Edward! You screw up your automail, I'll stick it up your ass!" cried Winry.

Ed cackled, and leapt into the water.

"You know I get full!" whined Alphonse, struggling through the sand.

Hughes and his wife were building a sand castle with their daughter, who was dressed in a frilly pink swimsuit.

"Awww, you're so cute, Elicia!" gloated Maes, adding to the castle.

Roy was getting a tan with his two ladies at side. He was actually enjoying his stay at the beach.

"Glurb glup!" cried Fullmetal suddenly, flailing his arms around. Translation: HELP!

With their amazing senses, the lifeguards noticed, and started running towards Ed. Very, very slowly.

"Glurp gloop!" cried Ed. Translation: Hurry!

Slowly, the lifeguards continued running, the women's, ahem, assets bouncing in rythm.

"Glub guloop!" Ed yelled, sounding really irritated for a drowning person.

And then, the lifeguards were there, looking pretty and whatnot. And what a surprise, one of the pretty people was Armstrong!

"There's quite a story behind this, actually. Well, it all started like-" started Armstrong. He looked at the eldest Elric, and chuckled nonchalantly. "Oh, I am sorry, I forgot that you were drowning!"

Like a superhero of some sort, Armstrong dove into the water and rescued Ed, who looked very angry.

Armstrong placed him neatly on the sand and rejoined his lifeguard crew.

Everyone continued to have fun on the beach, even Roy, having quite the time with "his bitches".

All of a sudden, a giant squid appeared!

"Oh my God!" shouted Alphonse, looking distressed. "I dropped my ice cream cone!"

He reached to the ground to pick up his ice cream, oblivious to the giant sea monster which threatened to attack. Obviously everyone was.

**To be continued...**

A/N: Sorry, incredibly short chapter, I blame it on skool. Yeah. And remember, it's nice to review.


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